It’s been four months since I last wrote in here? Seriously? How did that happened?

It’s hard to justify an absence that long. I’m not at death’s door or grappling with a personal catastrophe. Life’s been ticking on pretty much the same as usual and that, my friends, is probably the problem – Vixx doesn’t talk much when there’s fuck all going on . . . just look at my blog for evidence of that.

The good news is that while I’ve been silent, my novel certainly hasn’t been. Yeah, it’s still a slog and some days and sections are harder than others but there’s been progress and that’s pretty much all I can ask for these days. I think last time we spoke Chapter Eight was kicking my arse but today it’s wrapped up – albeit very much in a first draft-y kind of way – and whilst Nine too has been somewhat reluctant to commit itself to paper, that too is moving in the right direction. Around Christmas time I decided that writing as and when the mood hit clearly wasn’t working for me, and so these days I take an advance peek at my upcoming diary and commit at least two evenings a week to this thing, trying to fit them in around my other half’s night shifts, even if that only means reading, re-writes and edits. It’s not perfect but it has been helping me stay focused – which is just as well, considering that that had been the intention. Heh.

I’m also trying to stop writing so fucking passively. Seriously – I am so, so bad at this. What I know about the theory of writing could fit neatly on the back of a postage stamp, but even I know that PASSIVE NARRATIVE = YOU SUCK so quite why I can’t avoid it amazes me. I’m trying to sooth myself with reminders like – hey – isn’t this the first time you’ve tried to write a book? – but some of the things I struggle with seem so obviously Creative Writing 101 that I feel like a failure for stumbling at such simple hurdles – for failing before I’m barely even out of the gate. Once again I have to remind myself that I don’t actually know what I’m doing, that all of this is new, that only I know how to write my story and as I’ll write it the only way I know how, anything I write is better than nothing.

And then I remind myself that I’ve been saying this for five fucking years. If I don’t get my thumb out of my arse soon and stop worrying and procrastinating over a story that hasn’t even been fully written yet, nothing is all I’ll be left with.

p.s. Upgraded to 2.7.1 (man, an upgrade was overdue!) and it FUBARed my Progress Meter. Bollocks. Will come back and try to fix that another day . . .