Prologue Cloud

The prologue: in cloud form. Awesome!

It’s just a number, I know, but 70476. Really? Seventy thousand, four hundred and seventy six? Jesus. That’s 70476 words that have been pulled from my head, typed up at night and strung together to tell a story that first glistened in my mind in 2005.

I have never before committed so much of a book to paper. Never before gotten this far without giving up. Never even really considered that I was capable of finishing a book, let alone come this far on the journey to possibly achieving just that. And you know what? I haven’t even finished! There’s more to write and, better still, I actually want to write it! I don’t want to give up, even though Chapter Six nearly killed me, even though my writing’s been poor lately, even though I’m constantly tired from writing till 2am – my optimal writing time, according to my productivity notes.

The ten year old in me – the first Vixx incarnation to commit a story of her own fabrication to a notebook – is jumping up and down, overjoyed, cheering me on. (She’s been leaping about and cheering me on for twenty-two years now – her knees must be shot). And even if this fucking book never touches a printing press, I don’t care – for now, finishing a book, proving that I can do it, and showing that it’s never too late to pursue a dream? That’s enough for me right now – even if it makes me want to puke from the sticky sweet sentimentality of it all.

The hard work paid off: six is done.

This isn’t a real entry – it’s just a chance to crow at that fact. Maybe even dance around a bit.

I’ve spewed up a couple of thousand words in the last few weeks. It doesn’t sound like much but Christ: I feel as though I’ve had to vomit up blood to get every single one of those words out of me.

Chapters 5 and 6 have been my most challenging yet – annoying, too, since Chapter 6 (or the new 7) is finished and dusted – and I didn’t really think I’d get through them. Honestly. (Well, I haven’t in truth – there’s still work to be done – but the bones and muscle are there, ready and willing to be fleshed out.) I wish I had more confidence in my narrative voice, but it never feels natural to me. I feel as though the joins between scenes are ragged and broken and stand out like a sore fucking thumb. I know this can only mature with practise, so why the hell can’t I pull my thumb from my ass long enough to do some?

An excerpt of my novel – still currently untitled – is now available for download. So if you’ve always wondered what the fuss was about – and if, indeed, it’s worth the fuss at all – I urge you to download it. In return all I ask for is your gut reaction to it; either here in the comments or via my contact form if you’d rather do it more privately.

A password is required to access the downloads page. This isn’t because I’m a douche, but just because I’d like to know who’s accessing it. I don’t care if I don’t know you or you’ve never contacted me before in your life, or even if we know each other in ‘real life’; providing you’ve never threatened the life of me or my child, you’re welcome to read – positively encouraged, in fact. Just comment to request it. :)